Life isn’t that complicated

I don’t know why I’ve been so confused lately. Life is simple.

It’s all about choices

I choose who I am.

I am my better self.

Everything else follows from that.

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Choices

“I chose my own path,” he told me. “And I can’t turn back and I won’t turn aside.”
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Say yes, Daddy.

As young children are often wont to do, mine often tell me, “No!” when I ask them to do something. I will then correct them and teach them to say, “Yes, Daddy.”

“Pick up your toys.”

“No.”

“Say, ‘Yes, Daddy.'”

Oftentimes, just convincing them to say, “Yes,” is enough to allow themselves to choose to help, and that’s about the extent of the correction that they need.
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On Heroes and Schmucks

I have learned that even if you somehow find the courage to do something so difficult, and so right, and at such great personal sacrifice that it can only truly be called heroic, it’s still possible to feel like a schmuck for having done it.

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Ere We Lay This Mortal By

My wife just lost her father. I won’t go into details about his passing except to say that it was a bittersweet experience for the family, and that we saw many tender mercies from the Lord. Instead, I want to talk a little bit about the bitter bargain that accompanies each new birth.

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Puppy Love

How do you explain it to a dog? How do you say, with those big brown eyes looking up at you, that life isn’t fair? How do you explain that even though you only met her two days ago, that you love her? That you wish she could have stayed longer? That she really would have had a great time with the kids? That they would have mauled her and raced her and slept under the stars with her? That a whole lifetime of love was waiting for her, and she’ll never get to experience what should have been her destiny?

How do you say, with that tender, frail body laying on the cold metal examining table, that a couple thousand dollars is worth more than her life? That your heart is breaking, that you should never be faced with a decision like this, that if you could do it, you would spend 100 times that amount, if even a glimmer of hope remained? How do you look into her eyes and tell her that she isn’t going to make it, and that you were the person who had to make the decision? How do you explain to her that you swallowed the lump in your throat and signed the bottom of the page with euthanasia spelled out in big bold letters at the top?

How do you say, as you ignore the filth on the back of her legs, that she is beautiful and precious, and you can’t stand to let her go? How do you explain why you wrap your arms so tightly around her? How can you tell her why the tears come to your eyes and why you wipe them away and try to pretend they weren’t there at all when the veterinarian comes back in the room? How do you explain why when it’s time for her to go that you can’t seem to release her, and yet with the vet looking on, you uncurl your fingers and wipe the hair off your sweaty palms and somehow find the strength to turn your back and walk out the door?

How do you explain it to a puppy? And why should you ever have to?

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FreeBSD 6.1 and X11BASE

This is a dumb place for this, but this problem really drove me crazy, and Google, for all its good intentions, just wasn’t very helpful. So if you run into this problem, here is the solution:

While updating ports, I ran “make” and got this error:

X11BASE is now deprecated. Unset X11BASE in make.conf and try again.

Of course, X11BASE is NOT set in make.conf. And trying to “unset” it didn’t give me any satisfaction.

However, if you SET it, then you are good to go.

Add this line to make.conf:

X11BASE=${LOCALBASE}

Heh. Imagine that.

And yes, I know. The moral of the story is don’t run two major versions behind on an OS.

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Life Lesson

I have learned that even though I don’t think I am either, with the right circumstances I can be a hero, and with the right circumstances I can be a schmuck.

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Big Things

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. Frank A. Clark

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Don’t forget

“Promise you’ll always remember me,” Yrial said, tucking her books under her arm and pushing through the door.

Eloa quickly followed her. “Come on. It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“What did you get?”

“It was a tough one. I only scored a 96.”
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